...keributan kembali lagi (parlemen gaduh)

Kalo semua ngomong, terus siapa yang mau denger? Jangan egois ya!


Setau saya, DPR itu fungsi dasarnya adalah untuk menampung dan menyalurkan aspirasi rakuat. Udah berubah atau belum? Hati-hati loh, kalo rakyat sudah kecewa, gak bisa terpikirkan dampaknya seperti apa. Katanya negara demokrasi..

Rapat itu untuk apa sih? Musyawarah untuk mufakat, atau justru perang politik?


Sesama pejabat ngatain kampungan. Kayaknya jauh lebih elegan rapat MBiC kemarin. Malu dong sama dasi dan safari yang nempel di badan itu, masa kalah sama gue-yang-dulu-waktu-sma udah tahu tata cara rapat yang baik..


Lagian, kenapa baru sekarang diributinnya pas keputusan udah tercetuskan? Kenapa gak kemarin2 pas masih masa pembentukan keputusan? Kenapa tim perumus keputusan gak sedetil itu menimbang pasal, sampe akhirnya tadi malam di DPR pada ribet ngeributin pasal?


Apa iya kalo Indonesia itu lebih suka sama keributan? Coba ngacung, siapa yang masih cinta damai?


Above these all, siapa yang mau disalahkan? NGGA ADA! Semua salah. Semua punya porsi salah yang sama terhadap semua yang udah terjadi. Yang ngebedain sekarang cuma, siapa yang sadar (kalo dia salah) siapa yang tidak!

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Time will heal, no?

Pada akhirnya, gak menemukan jawaban sudah seberapa besar effort yang gue kasih untuk semua hal yang terjadi dalam hidup gue. Kayaknya belum banyak. I am getting worse lately. Become more possessive, more stressful,less pray, less hope, lebih pasrah, gak ngoyo kayak biasanya, and lately gue selalu memandang orang ataupun sesuatu dari sudut pandang yang tidak biasa.

Mungkin ini yang namanya peralihan. For some people, I don't know for sure, it happens. Ini gak se-ekstrim kayak 'kehilangan jati diri', but what I feel just 'lagi pengen sendiri dan merenung'..

Mungkin gue lagi sibuk. Yup, otak ini belakangan lagi sibuk ngerancang 'what-i-would-be' in, at least, 5 years later. Would I have my marriage? Or already having babies? Still studying? Living abroad? How about my career? My family and friends? Would I miss them? Who my man is at that time, and so on. And for all those things, I keep questioning.

Sebenernya, apa tujuan gue hidup? Sukses? Cuma sebatas sukses, atau ada hal lain? Then, apa indikator kesuksesan gue? Apa target gue? Bleh! Ini gak beda kayak lo ngebikin konser MBiC kemarin. Sebelum lo memulai produksi, semua pertanyaan itu harus udah lo pikirin jawabannya. Apa tujuan lo ngadain konser, apa target market lo, mau kayak apa konsep pergelaran lo, siapa-siapa aja yang harus terjun ke acara lo, lo maunya kerja sama orang-orang yang bagaimana, dan setumpuk pertanyaanlainnya yang jawabannya gak bisa lo temuin hanya dalam waktu semalam.

Artinya, lo ternyata emang harus mikirin mateng-mateng untuk setiap langkah yang mau lo ambil, even just a little single step. Sepakat nggak?

Belakangan, banyak banget oknum yang bilang gue 'gila' setelah gue ceritain apa-apa aja kegiatan gue dari dari Minggu ketemu Minggu, dari buka mata sampe merem lagi. How crazy I am, they said. Kalo bahasa Filipina-nya, 'Baliw eh!' *ah, kan, gak sabar bulan Agustus mau ke Filipine lagi, yeaaay!*

Gue lagi berada di posisi gak-mau-ketemu-siapa-siapa-dan-gak-mau-ngobrol-sama-siapa-siapa nih. Gileeee~



Time will heal, I believe.

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Simfoni Kenangan Sebuah Perjalanan

Nih. Disini..*sambil tunjuk dada*

Kangennya udah muncak banget. Baru dua bulan loh padahal. Tapi, kok rindu berat ya?

21 Januari 2012, menghitung mundur ke belakang. Udah setahun dari awal terjun. Kangennya bikin nyesek. Yang pertama, mungkin jadi yang terakhir? 

Cuma Tuhan yang tahu.. :)

Masa-masa itu. Akan terus melekat disini *tunjuk dahi* dan disini *tunjuk hati*

 

Bener-bener kenangan.. :)

too sweet to forget, too hurt to memorize..

They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

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Nyeri nyeri nyeri...

Semua terkuras habis. Padahal baru hari kedua, tapi efeknya sudah luar biasa dahsyat. Fyuuh~ Setiap kali menstruasi datang, gue adalah tipikal orang yang jarang marah, tapi cenderung lebih perasa dari biasanya. Dan, menstruasi kali ini efeknya berat. Persendian pinggang ke bawah rasanya linu banget, serasa pengen diputusin. Kepala gue puyeng parah, gak berhenti dari hari pertama kemarin. Bagian kiri kepala gue rasanya pengen gue antukin ke tembok, migrain parah. Belum lagi, perut gue. Kram banget. Zzzzzz. Gigi juga ngilu. Hoossh~

Ini baru hari kedua. Hari selanjutnya?

Apa ini karena siklus haid gue yang gak teratur ya? Karena siklus haid gue itu 3 bulan sekali..

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There are part of the list..

 Dear tanda tanya,

1.   Kenapa gue masih bisa bertahan di kubangan yang salah?

2.   Ini udah kali ketiga, kenapa gak pernah bergerak sih, Ve?

3.   Sebut saja begini, all of the puzzles has been completed. So, what will you do after then?

4.   Bisa gak bertahan untuk positif, paling enggak untuk waktu 4 bulan kedepan?

5.   Kapan bisa jujur? Gak capek bohong terus?

6.   Fokus untuk hal-hal yang penting aja, bisa?

7.   What worries you masters you. And, it happens to you, Ve. Ayo, positif!

8.   Masih perlu pembuktian? Enggak kan?! Udah jelas semua, toh?

9.   Jangan egois. Apa yang harus dilepas, lepaskanlah. Susah?

10. 'Theresia gak pernah kalah'. Inget ini?

11.  To be a winner, sometimes you have to get your lowest point. And, you're there right now, are you?

12.  Emang masih butuh dia? Oke. Ralat. Emang dia masih butuh?

13.  Bulan Juli, segeralah berakhir. Plis plis plis. Bisa gak sih?

14.  Excepting too much sometimes will get you down. Tau arti ini, kan?

Sincerely,

butuh jawaban..

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Dios, ayuda a sus hijos..

Hello Saturday night, we meet again!

It has been a week since I'll Divo concert-which-i-didn't-attend, you know what? Lots of things fight in my mind back then. Life stuffs, school stuffs, office stuffs, other stuffs. Everything has their own part in this mind. Kill me then lah, too many things, but thanks God, it means I still alive. Many stories I would share, but let us focused on what happen today first.

What I have planned today :

I wake up at 7, then having a bath. Dressed up and catch my presentation at 9 am at campuss. After that, having my laboratoy class at 1 pm, and followed by Manajemen Investasi class at 3 pm. When it all finished, preparing to go to Java Jazz Festival, meet up with Aa Pepenk. At late night,we go back to Bandung, cause tomorrow I'll have my performance at Balai Kota Bandung. It sounds well, anyway. You may ask, won't you come to Hoki and join with other committee, Vel? Yeah, I said no. I'll be still at there till 6 o'clock, right after that, I'll catch JIExpo.

But, you know what's the fact?

I wake up LATE in the morning, eight thirty am. I've been woken up by Arif, thanks anyway, Rif! Yeah, then having a bath, and I've arrived at campus at nine thirty. Gotcha! I've had my presentation at 11 am, finished class at 1 pm. Didn't attend my laboratory class, I went to hoki. Yeah, I was at hoki till magrib. DANG!! I have just remembered that I lose my Manajemen Investasi class at 3 pm. Huhuhu..

And, I thought twice to come to JIExpo. Why? I don't know, I have no mood suddenly. So many things happened at hoki today changed my mood a lot. Instead of that all of my office-mates were already at the venue. They have asked me whether I come or not, yet I said yes. Aa have also arrived. Fyuh! So bad mood, I decided to not go, yet my mom called me and asked to be at home tonight, cause we'll have some things tommorrow. Okay, everything's broken! I cancelled and missed everything, I decided to not go to Bandung, means that I will lose my performance tomorrow. Then, now, I walked my home alone. I have no friend, cause Joddy prefer to stay at kosan tonight. And there's no other who can accompanying me home. Yes, it's so okay!!!

Diary,

Do you know that I am so sad? Do you know that many things in my mind that trying to kill me? I really want to share with you, but I don't know how to start. Do you know I am personally 'galau'? Yep, I am galau.

No. No. You might think that it's all about love, isn't it? Hahahhaha.. You did wrong, dude!

I myself really feel uncomfort lately. You know that all of my subjects at school are the funniest I ever had, I hardly breath they made. Practically, I am too much, my job really needs me to do more than I give now, and don't forget that I am still having job at that unit. Lucky me, yesh!!

Diary,

No. I didn't regret it. I thank God of it. Thank God I am still alive until now. But, could you yourself help me to solve these matters in hand?

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