For what i feel, what i see, what i hear, what i dream of, what i used to be, what i would be. Here i am. Just take a deep breath, then read!

Showing posts with label #CC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #CC. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

beautiful impossibility: will i marry someone with a different faith?

It took me a feature movie and endless traveling to answer it. Why does it take me so long for a simple yes or no question?

I was so afraid that my NO will hurt this movie... and above all, you.

It's not because I think that you are not qualified enough to be my partner in life. God knows how tempting you are to me. It's me. I am very weak and selfish person. I am incapable of loving anyone, even you, forever and ever till death do us apart. My love will definitely fade away someday.

That's why I need a (T) in my cinTa (Indonesian word for love). (T) is the only one who could strengthen me to stand by him through his weakness, entertain me through my incidental boredom of marriage, and comfort me not to take divorce as an option no matter how hard it gets.

And I don't believe your love, or any love will last. I need a man who loves God more than he loves me. Otherwise, he will just leave this stupid weak girl eventually.

OK. I know you love God too, just in a different way. You think it is ridiculous that we cannot be together. But I happen to love singing in the church, and the idea of a God that is more like a father, and I need a partner who see Him as a father. It's just like I cannot marry anyone who loves partying all night because I am more of a stay-home person. It doesn't mean that partying is bad, it's just not for me.

The different lifestyle makes me uncomfortable. I need a guy who I can pray with every morning. I need a guy who refers to the same book of our problems. Because no matter how hard I try to tell myself that we are the same, we are not.

Despite my NO, I do believe that God creates us differently for a beautiful reason, not to make myself feel better than others. And I am very grateful that God let me get to know you. If you can see through my eyes, you will see how blessed I feel just to spend an afternoon of absolutely nothing with you.
Thank you. I love you. I always will.









*repost from Sammaria Simanjuntak's resignclub.blogspot.com, re-inspired by Chrysti Apriany and Zoraya Paskarini :)
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Friday, January 18, 2013

Aku (kangen) Kamu.

Nungnga tung sega rohakku ito
Marsahit lungun do au tu ho
Sasadari lao rohakki sai tu ho

Gila nih.. Gila! Crazy! Baliw! Pom mai kho jai!
Apapun lah namanya. Mau pake Inggris, Indonesia, Tagalog, Thailand, pokoknya sama aja. Gue gila! Gue (ter)gila-gila sama lo. And, do you in entire your life realize this though just a second?
Gue, Mila. Kerja di sebuah media company di Indonesia. Karena ketidakstabilan jiwa, belakangan ini, gue tergila-gila sama seorang pria. Satu atap juga kerjanya, beda lantai. Sebutlah dia Aman. Kenapa Aman? Karena kalo Amin, takutnya kejadian beneran, kesenengan entar guenya. Hhahhaha.
 
Let me counting the days.. Hm, almost 100 days, i have been fallen for him. Sakit nih! Gak ketemu sehari aja kangen, rindu, gelisah pengen denger suaranya. Kalo kata lagunya Duo Maia : "mau makan, ku ingat kamu. Mau tidur, kuingat kamu. Buka baju, kuingat kamu *eh* .."
Ya begitulah. Kalo orang sedang jatuh cinta, semenit sekali pasti kangen. Gampang kangen, emang. Tapi, dia gimana? Gue, sampai detik ini juga gak tahu gimana dia ke gue. :(


Aha hulaning dibaen ho ito
Umbahen tunduk rohakku tu ho
Sai songoni lao rohakki sai tu ho
 
Duh, Amaan. Kamu ngapain aku sih, sampe aku segininya ke kamu? Kamu melet aku ya? Dikit-dikit aku kangen kamu, aku gak bisa jauh dari kamu. Hati aku kenapa cuma buat kamu ya? Kenapa? Kenapa? Kamu bisa gak jawab pertanyaan aku?
 
 
 
Denggan ni lagumi
Denggan ni basami
Namambaen rohakku
Sai masihol tu ho
Nang torop nauli
Hutadinghon doi
Nadipangan rohakku
Holan holan ho
 
Cuma kamu, kamu, kamu. *ini ok kayak lagunya ST12 ya jadinya? -_____-
Cuma kamu yang ada di hati aku, kamu tahu? Pengen banget gue bilang ini ke dia. Tapi? Taaapii, i'm still confusing him. Is he love me too or? Duuh, put your doubtness away dong, Mil. Fyuh~
 
 
 
Tung so tartaon do sihol hu tu ho
Molo dao au sian ho
Tangis do au.. marsak do au
Ikkon huida do ho
Ipe dok ma hatam
Patuduhon roham
Molo ra molo olo ho
Sautan ku ma ho

Kamu mau gak kita jalan bareng-bareng? Apapun, kali ini aku mau perjuangin rasa yang aku punya. Kamu mau? Kasih aku jawaban, lewat tindakan.



Aku (kangen) kamu.


Holong do rohangku tu ho, hasian. Ai diboto ho do i?









Notes : Haha, i dont know whether it has already describes ur trully feeling or not. Ya, just take it for fun lah. And, if you want, just send the last sentence in this post to him, and let him reply. Good luck! :)
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Kinda beautiful lie..

I put my clothes in the bag,

It's time for me to pack

 

No,

 

This time I won't beg,

For you to come back












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Monday, January 07, 2013

For A Guy 7th Fl.

Bahkan, untuk googling pun, saya tak tahu apa keyword yang pas. Sudah hampir 5 bulan, tapi hanya dua informasi yang saya tahu. Mengenai nama, dan dimana dia bekerja. Pun, saya tidak yakin dengan informasi yang saya tahu tentang namanya. Ya, anggaplah itu, tebak-tebak buah manggis. Lalu, cara apa (lagi) yang mungkin saya lakukan untuk tahu kalau dia benar-benar punya identitas? Sambangi ruangannya? Namanya pun saya ragu. Tanya langsung? Sama saja itu menyeret saya ke jurang, mau taruh dimana harga diri saya. Suruh seseorang untuk tanya langsung ke dia? Oh, betapa pengecutnya saya kalau sampai benar-benar melakukan hal itu.


Lalu?

Apa iya hanya terus menjadi resolusi belaka?







.catatan seorang teman hidup.
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