Je Suis Moi ♥♥

For what i feel, what i see, what i hear, what i dream of, what i used to be, what i would be. Here i am. Just take a deep breath, then read!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Everyone keep questioning what life is while life keeps on turning

Life is all about ups and downs. Life is achiving something and losing other one. Life talks about how to forgive and forget. Life shows black and white, right and wrong, and any others two-different sides. And the question now is, is it always like that? I mean ALWAYS?


Is there any concepts about life?

English dictionary describes life like this :


the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.


the existence of an individual human being or animal.



Well. It's a theory. So, practically, what's it?

I have been running my life for 23 years since i was born, not including the life when i was in my mommy's tummy. And, me myself, defines life like this ;


Condition that makes me feel everything, do anything, for free. But, the biggest issue is the qonsequency that i have to take by having it all.


I can say every word i like without any permission. I can do everything without paying something. I can have all the feelings. Sad, happy, confused, glad, thankful, sophisticated, even at the same time. And it is WOW! *too much*

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Monday, April 07, 2014

Actually, we run the success by our own way

"Be generous and expert, trustworthy and clear, open-minded and adaptable, persistent and present."

To keep this sentence in the front of my mind, I look for specific tips that support these qualities. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Day after day, be a little bit kinder and a tad wiser than you were the day before.

2. Both for your company and your family, be better at saving money than you are at spending it.

3. Contrary to how some misinterpret what Jim Collins says, it is a better strategy to be consistently good than occasionally great.

4. Read more. Nothing else will so quickly make you wiser.

5. The more interconnected our world becomes, the more important your reputation will be. Always do the right thing, even when you think no one is watching.

6. Never forget that most people will do what you pay them to do, not what you tell them to do.

7. It is okay to be more generous than other people, just as it is okay to feel better about yourself than you used to feel.

8. Most of the answers you need already exist in someone else’s head; find those people.

9. The greatest challenge each day is to regulate your ego; too little of it, and you waste your potential, but too much of it and you waste everyone else’s potential.

10. Sometimes technology is going to hurt you, and other times it is going to help you. Be sure you are fully aware which is most likely at the present moment.

11. Give away the things you no longer need; it will help others, and free yourself from distractions

12. Just because you dislike someone does not mean s/he is wrong.

13. Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words; be careful of your words, for your words become your deeds. (anonymous poem)

14. Never ask a favor of anyone unless you have helped them at least three times already.

15. Don’t just count your blessings; use them to help others.

16. The secret of success in every profession and endeavor is to stay healthy.

17. Take a simple idea and take it seriously. (Charles T. Munger)

18. If you expend a great deal of energy just to stay in the same place, you will never advance.

19. The people who don’t think are the ones who never listen. (from the book 1Q84)

20. You don’t need more money; you need more meaning.

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Thursday, October 17, 2013

Iya, belum terlambat kok!

Kadang memang penyesalan bisa datang di awal, tapi berapa banyak sih yang bisa sebut itu sesal? Bisa jadi itu namanya antisipasi. Tapi, kalau namanya belum terlambat itu bisa dikategorikan menyesal atau antisipasi?

Saya pribadi jujur merasa, meskipun sudah tahu ini memang belum terlambat, rasa dalam hati udah timbul sesal. Kayak ada yang bilang kalau you already lose something though it still has second chance. Emang belum terlambat sih, tapi kenapa malah bikin takut melangkah ya? Gak seberani ketika taking the first step. Secupu itu kah saya? Terlebih, saya orangnya gampang banget kecewa sama diri sendiri kalau ada suatu hal yang gak beres, meskipun gak semuanya kesalahan saya. Kadang, saya ngerasa the more i know something, the more i feel me meanless. Makin banyak tahu, makin ngerasa gak berarti karena gak bisa ngerjain semua, gak bisa ngapa-ngapain. Itu jeleknya saya, semuanya pengen dikerjain sendiri. Cukup sadar sih karena masih banyak yang sebenernya bisa diandalkan, tapi ya itu tadi, saya orangnya perfeksionis. Bukan nganggep kalau hal itu dikerjain orang lain lantas hasilnya gak bagus, tapi lebih ke kepuasan pribadi aja kalau saya yang ngerjain. Balik lagi, semua itu kadang gak sesuai sama implementasi. Nyatanya di lapangan saya tetap herkoordinasi dengan orang lain, memahami kalau ngga semua bisa dikerjain sendiri. Untungnya, saya bukan orang yang sulit berkomunikasi atau bekerja sama dengan yang lain.

Gitu juga sama hati. Segala hal pribadi atau jenis cerita yang umumnya jadi bahan cecurhatan, gak bisa segampang itu saya curhatin ke orang. Saya terbiasa menyimpan masalah saya sendiri. Bukan berarti memendam ya, ini lebih ke keeping my personal life sih. Segala jenis masalah pribadi saya, saya simpen sendiri, saya analisis sendiri, saya cari solusi sendiri, saya jalanin sendiri. Kok bisa?
Iya, karena saya memang sebenernya bukan tipe pencerita. Itu satu. Kedua, karena saya juga banyak menemukan cara yang mengatasi masalah saya dari mendengarkan cerita orang lain. Saya terbiasa jadi 'tempat sampah'. Nah, dari setiap 'sampah' yang orang ceritain ke saya, entah itu hanya ingin didengarkan, ataupun dicarikan solusi, dua-duanya bikin saya mikir, sehingga saya jadi tahu keberagaman masalah dalam hidup. Keterbiasaan ini dulu bikin saya mau masuk fakultas psikologi. I am interest with people and environment.

Karena jarang curhat, beberapa orang menilai saya introvert, bahkan kedua orang tua saya pun begitu. Kadang orang berkomentar kalau saya sukses memberikan mereka solusi tapi kenapa justru saya gak sukses memecahkan masalah saya sendiri. Itu opini mereka kebanyakan, ya karena itu tadi, saya dibilang introvert. Tapi, ke sebagian orang, saya orangnya terbuka kok. Oh iya, satu lagi, saya orangnya sangat senang ngobrol. Ah, bahaya!

Saya dulu terbiasa curhat di buku harian. Manual banget deh pokoknya. Rajin banget tiap malem nulis di diari tentang apapun, bisa dibilang saya ya 'muntah'nya ke diari, bukan ke orang. Tapi yang saya heran, justru kecanggihan teknologi ini (serta kesibukan yang tiada tara ini) malah bikin saya malas. Hm, tepatnya bukan malas sih, lebih ke apa yah? Bingung. Harusnya, connecting to the internet tiap hari bikin saya rajin curhat, tapi kok ini engga. Aneh! Gara-gara ini, kadang saya ngerasa saya kehilangan tempat curhat. Kadang juga ngerasa saya terlalu sibuk, sampai-sampai ketika punya waktu luang pun bukannya nulis, malah memilih untuk tidur. Salah fokus emang!

Ngomong-ngomong fokus, si orang itu (iya, orang itu, jangan disebutin namanya disini, malu!) ngingetin saya untuk lebih terbuka (ke dia), bilang kalau ada apa-apa sebaiknya cerita ke dia. Ih, apa banget ya? Thinking that you have to know all 'bout my doubts gitu? Hihihii. Saya malah jadi ge er digituin, itu artinya dia perhatian ke saya, pikir saya. Hm, tuh kan salah fokus lagi!

Ah, otak saya emang kemana-mana banget sih. Kalau lagi blogwalking-an, saya ngerasa saya i am less while others more. Hahahaha, pesimis banget gak sih!

Iya, emang lagi pesimis, sepesimis itu. Balik lagi ke awal, hehehe. Dari sekian banyak kata diatas ini, itu cuma prolog. Intinya, saya lagi pesimis, down, whatever you name it! Hehehe. Menghindari kata galau, saya pilih pesimis.

Sambil nulis ini, mp3 player yang saya setel random, muterin lagu-lagu ini :
1. Belum Terlambat - Padi
2. This Ain't A Love Song - Bon Jovi
3. Benci Untuk Mencinta - Naif
4. Never Is A Long Time - Roxette Feat. Scorpions

Terus saya komen dalam hati: damn it, pas banget! *sighing*

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Monday, September 16, 2013

So please let me..

When i say i wanna quit, my heart confronts it. By the time you're keep asking me where i will go, i am still losing my mind to find the very best answer. You are trying to get into my heart to find the answer, i know. But, you have to know too, that here in my heart, there will be no answer. No reason to get away from you, even a reason to make you feel disappointed to me.

It comes very bad, you know. I don't want fight anymore, i don't want to try even harder. The words you said to me, the questions you're keep asking me, your obsecration for me to stay.. are just depressing me. :(
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Friday, July 26, 2013

Sesungguhnya...

Mau tau?

I feel different.
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Thursday, July 11, 2013

For whom it may concern

A day after..

I never realize that it turned out to be like this. Starting from months ago that i came to this place and saw you for the first time. Me, and you, we acted like we ever knew before. And, voila! This is life, time flies, we meet everyday, we talk every way, we share everything. Me, and you, once again. But, there is distance. Distance between us, though us is very near.  You, a very far away from me. Million differences, but still, us as one. Would you be? Would i? Would us?

And now you're standing close to me, starring at my eyes, embracing me. No words, but yeah, i am hearing our hearts start transffering signals. Yes, you i admire. Oh, crap what did i say?

I know it could be weird. Your voices, my voices. I know it could be wrong. But please just stay the same, and let me out. I doubt this feeling. I doubt me. I trust you. To be honest, i can't resist it, but i can't imagine too if there is something happen.




*hahahha suit suit

**to be continued
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Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Time changes, existence shows

Udah lama. Udah lama banget rasanya gak pernah ngembe. Biasanya setiap hari selalu pulang malam, bahkan larut, atau bahkan gak beranjak dari pusgiwa karena kegiatan satu itu. Bukan berarti sekarang gak pernah pulang malam lagi, tetep aja begitu, baru beranjak dari kantor gak pernah lebih cepat dari jam 8 malam, kecuali kalau jadwal latihan choir di gereja. 
Sebenernya apa sih yang dikangenin dari MB? Kalau alasannya bermusik, mungkin gak cukup akurat, karena toh sampai sekarang gue tetep bermusik kok, entah itu di gereja ataupun di kalangan anak-anak kantor. Mungkin feel nya. 
Semalam abis mantengin timeline twitter, dan disana banyak banget curahan hati 140 karakter dari anak-anak MB. Ucapan semangat TC dan hal-hal lainnya bikin senyum-senyum sendiri dan diam-diam dalam hati jadi kangen saat-saat berada di posisi mereka. Yang itu rapat gak kelar-kelar, yang itu debat sana-sini, yang itu nentuin target sana-sini, yang itu hubungin bintang tamu, yang booking gedung, yang segala macem. Hihihi, time changes, existence shows. Keren yah MBUI.
Sebenernya mau sekalian permintaan maaf juga sih ini, karena dari kepengurusan periode ini, hampir gak pernah mengujungi latihan. Bisa dibilang, gak tau running nya kayak apa, kualitas pasukan kayak apa, kualitas musiknya bagaimana, dan sebagainya. Cuma denger report dari beberapa pihak tentang progres proyek.

Sukses ya kalian. Sukses untuk Madah Bahana in Concert 2 nya. Kerjamu, kerjaku, kerja kita pasti akan berhasil dan mendulang sukses kayak Simfoni Kenangan Sebuah Perjalanan.

Peluk hangat dari saya disini, iringan doa saya semoga selalu menemani kalian. Tidak akan ada yang sia-sia, karena kalian ngelakuinnya dengan sungguh-sungguh. Tetap semangat, tetap percaya diri, dan lebih banci tampil.


We gotta go..

We gotta fight..

We gotta win..


YEAHHH!!!




gak pernah gak amazed sama unit ini! You'll make it!
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